What Goes Around Comes Around

i cant think of a good word to describe karma but its been on my mind lately. I have witnessed a few people experience karma lately and honestly, it gives me a great feeling inside. I say this now as karma is on my side... haha

For the Girl Who Has Everything

I am that girl. I have it all. I have a wonderful family I couldn't love more, awesome friends who I am so so grateful for and now a boyfriend who I can't even find words to begin to describe how he makes me feel.

I got back from San Diego yesterday morning. I had a blast. I got to get away from everything here in Ohio. Its been a hell of a year. It was so nice to have NOTHING to worry about. It was funny, Brian kept asking what I wanted to do and I just kept telling him "I'm away from Ohio, work and school. I'm set". I just wanted to spend time with him, however that might be. My second night there we were at a bar/restaurant called Croces and thats when we decided to be together officially. There was no "Will you go out with me?" or "Will you be my girlfriend?" it was an adult conversation about it. Thats really how it needed to be handled because there was SO much to be discussed. But its been the best decision yet. This guy is unbelievable. He says the right things, does the right things, and makes me feel the way I know I should be feeling. He makes me feel special yet at the same time not dependent.

I have a good feeling about this one :)

It's Here.

It's finally time.
I leave tomorrow.
I can't believe this is actually happening.


If anyone out there knows me, they know this is so unlike me. I bought a plane ticket in April to go to San Diego to see Brian. Now two months have passed and its time for me to board the plane tomorrow night and fly six hours west. I need this though. It's been a hell of a year. School and work have owned my life. My health has not been in tip top shape since the pancreatitis. and of course, the break up. I'm getting away from everything here, everyone here for the week and worrying about nothing and no one but Brian. This is our time to really be together after months of communicating only through technology.

I can't wait.

For Those Who Don't Know

November of 2009 I woke up in the middle of the night with terrible pain under the right side of my ribs. I honestly thought it was just gas and just tried to sleep it off. After an hour, I realized it was something more and went and woke up my parents. Dad jumped out of bed and was ready to take me to the ER that very minute. But it being 4:00 in the morning we weren't sure how quick we'd be seen and if it were just a better idea to go see my family doctor in the morning. We chose to wait. I crawled up in bed with my mom so she could kind of monitor me and finally fell back to sleep. I went and saw my doctor in the morning and she drew all sorts of blood. I went home and took it easy the rest of the day before work. Later that day on my way to work received a phone call from my doctor. She had the results of some of my blood work, the diagnosis: pancreatitis. She told me I needed to be admitted as an inpatient at the hospital to be monitored because how they treat pancreatitis is not allowing you to eat or drink anything. So off to the hospital I went.

Once we got there I was admitted to the ER, had more blood drawn, and hooked up to an IV. After having an ultrasound done, my very good looking ER doctor came in with good news: no surgery. So I was taken up to a room for the night. I got no sleep that night. I had a CT scan done at 4 am and was up for 2 hours before that drinking the stuff for it. Had another IV put in and almost passed out. And had nurses checking in throughout the night. I don't even remember the doctor coming in to talk to me. Who knows what I told him.

After 2 nights in the hospital I was able to go home. At this point I had lost abut 10 pounds in a month. I was weak and worn out. My family and I were pretty set on it being the birth control that I was on for the past year. December I had a scope done and that showed that there was scar tissue on my pancreas which does indicate an attack. My GI doctor said she doesn't like to call it pancreatitis unless the enzyme levels are elevated 3x what they're supposed to be. This makes me question "how would this all be different if we had gone to the ER right away?" I was put on a couple different medications. enzymes to help digest my food, an awesome blue looking pill to stop the immediate need to run to the bathroom, and pain and anit-nausea pills were given to me too. In January I had a scan done to test the function of my gall bladder... 98% functioning.

I was doing well for a few months. The weight has been hard to put back on but for the most part I had been out of pain. Until about a month and a half ago. I had another attack on my way to school. It started in my back and right shoulder. Right shoulder pain is associated with gall bladder issues. Then I got a cold sweat, faint feeling, pain underneath my ribs, and nauseous. I turned around and went back home to make a drs appointment. The blood work this time came back with normal liver levels and 1 set of pancreas levels were normal. The other enzyme was 136.. it should be 0-60. So here we go again. My doctor was pretty set on just taking my gall bladder out. But I didnt want to have to go through a surgery and still have issues. So yesterday I had a EGD done. I was moderately sedated and they went in through my mouth and down my esophagus and took pictures. She was looking to see if my gall bladder was pumping mico crystals or powdered stones to my pancreas.

So here I wait again for results. And there was the story of the past 8 months of my health. I really hope we get answers from this set of tests. I am done not knowing why this is going on.