and you're outta here!

Hes out of my life.
Gone for good.
forever.

its an awesome feeling.

so busy!

Since I have been so very productive, I finally have some time to sit and blog ! It's been a while! A lot has been going on with the end of the quarter coming up. I have SO much to get done in only a matter of now a week. But in 2 weeks, I'll be in California :)

My senior year is about here. College has gone by so fast! It is time to start making decisions. Important decisions. Do I go to Grad school? If I do, where? Do I stay in Ohio? Do I leave? Do I move out into my own apartment? The answers to all of these questions have got to me made soon and its terrifying! ...yet exciting.

Of course there has been drama. When isn't there drama? That is what sucks about Centerville. Everyone knows everyone and everyone talks. That's why leaving sounds so appealing to me. I wouldn't be leaving to run from baggage here or be running from anything here, there is nothing to run from. I would be leaving to experience life and set up a life of my own. We'll see. All depends if I get a job out of college or decide to go to Grad School.

My San Diego trip is coming up so soon! I'm getting anxious. I cannot wait to see Brian and just be there with him without a single care in the world. ...sounds pretty amazing huh? ...i think so :)

Too Much of a Good Thing is Bad

I express myself too much. I also expect people to care. And that's the thing. They don't. They don't care how I feel nor do they care about what I am up to. It just amazes me how you can be a part of people's lives for so long yet they still just don't care.

My ex boyfriend's family is what is truly bugging me. I looked at them as if they were my own family. I don't have a big family, so being around so many aunts, uncles, and cousins was nice. That's where I went wrong and a lesson learned for the next man. I am no one to them now and I really feel that now. Yes, they're his family, they're going to side with him, but I just don't get how you just... don't care. Maybe it proves to me how foe they are. The things I heard and even witnessed on my own are really sticking out right now to me, but I was so blinded by love for 2 years that it has taken a mended heart and a clear mind to really see this.

What I have realized is that it doesn't matter the size of the family. My family is not huge but we have a lot of love. We don't back stab each other or gossip about one another. We just love. There's no serious drama. I don't want it any other way. I will NEVER fit in with a significant others family or my future husband's family the way that I fit into my own. I hope to be accepted and welcome, but when it comes down to it, I'm a Schiefer, that's where I'll always belong.

School Days, School Days.

I'm just having one of those days. One of those days where I just have WAY too much on my mind. I'm worn out. I'm burned out. I work four days a week and go to school five. That's nine days... There are only seven in a week. I know I've taken this on myself, but after six week of this schedule, I just want to sit and do NOTHING. I am in the seventh week of spring quarter of junior year. Its becoming crunch time. Crunch time for the quarter and crunch time for my college career. My parents are pushing getting a Masters Degree. I'm considering it. I'm thinking of counseling. My counselor has helped me so much, that I would love to help adolescents with their struggles in life. I'm not guaranteed a job right out of college. I haven't signed a contract with the military and I'm not in the medical field, therefore, there's a high chance there won't be a job for me when I get out of school. I figure more schooling can't hurt. I emailed my adviser today about meeting with her to discuss this. I can't believe its time to actually start thinking about what comes next. All I've known for 16 years is school.

May Flowers

Hello May.

Man, we're already into the 5th month of 2010. Almost half way through the year. WHERE'S TIME GOING!? I'm half way through the quarter then my junior year of COLLEGE is over. This is crazy to me. I remember when my older sister was in college. I was in middle school; the time of awkward crushes and body image insecurities. Middle school was great though when I look back on it. You're biggest worry was what to say to your crush of the month and what you were going to wear to that month's rec center dance. Now I have to start thinking about graduation (which is in a year...oh golly), whether or not I want to get a credit card, decide if I want to get a Masters degree and if I want to stay in Ohio of move away and see a new part of the his country. Time machine back to 2002 please!