2010 Tribute.

As I sit here in my bed and stare at the computer screen the thought "where do I even begin?" runs through my mind as I attempt to reflect back on the year 2010. So I guess I'll start with where I was a year ago...

A year ago today I was in a deteriorating relationship that I was holding on for no reason except for it was all I knew. I knew it was time for it to end and for me to move on to something new but I was too attached...for many reasons. We were technically broken up for the holidays but on New Years Eve 2009, we decided we'd try to work this out. Not but a month later we were over. He was too focused on his own personal goals while I was willing to give 100% and more to fixing the relationship. When one person gives and another cannot or is not willing to, the relationship is not a happy one. So at the end of January, a 2 year relationship with a guy I was set on marrying ended.

Now yes. I knew it was the BEST thing. I knew it was the RIGHT thing...but the tears still fell. ohhhh did they fall. But I had the BEST friends in the world to dry them off and pick me up. My friend Ryan was unbelievable at the time. No matter what the hour, morning, day or night, he'd answer my call and listen to my as I would sob. A break up is a form of loss. It is okay to grieve but there comes a time when you have to pick yourself back up and live your life for YOU. Through the wonderful help, hugs and positive energy of my wonderful friends (you all know exactly who you are), I picked myself up rather quickly and moved on with my life. I have never been happier.

As my personal love life felt as if it had been flipped turned upside down the real world didn't stop. I still had classes to attend and tables to serve. That winter quarter I pulled off straight A's. The best quarter of college I have had to date. I was seeing I had removed a lot of negative energy from my life. I told myself "2010 is about ME. I am going to focus on finishing school strong, making money and having fun with friends and family. i am not going to throw myself into another relationship. It is time for me." ..Well, we all know that was slightly unsuccessful. haha. I even went and got a tattoo that I had been wanting!

My 21st birthday quickly approached and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect birthday celebration. All of my friends made it out that night and well, to put it bluntly, I was carried out of the bar. Success.

As I was strengthening all my friendships and making new ones, a new man entered my life a big unexpectedly. Needless to say, it was the best thing to ever happen. Brian is amazing. He somehow says all the right things, knows how to get me to smile and really loves me for me. I visited him out in California after we hit it off at my birthday and well the connection was really undeniable. So we figured we would give it a shot. Our relationship is a long distance relationship. But we are making it work wonderfully thanks to Skype and Facebook. Thank you Mark Zuckerberg and the inventor of Skype!

My nephew turned THREE this year. I have no idea where three years went but that little baby is not a little baby anymore! He is becoming a little man and is just the cutest ever. He knows so much and it amazes me to see the things he does and hear the things he says. He is going to be a big brother in June :)

2010 was a tough year. My sister had a miscarriage, Brian lost a friend overseas, and now I see my younger sister going through the same heartbreak I did a year ago. I hope 2011 brings her the same joy that I have found. I tried coming off my antidepressant this year just to find out I really do need them. Which is okay. I am at peace with that. I still see a counselor fairly regularly and she is really helping me through a lot. I have a lot of personal insecurities I am dealing with. So thank you 2010 for making me a stronger person, for helping me realize my true friends and for bringing an amazing man into my life. But to be honest 2010, I can't wait for you to be over!

Now, I know I couldn't include EVERYTHING that happened this year in this post, so leave a memory we had together during 2010 either as a comment on facebook or as a comment on here :)


BRIAN AND I BEFORE HE LEFT TO GO BACK TO SAN DIEGO BEFORE GOING ON DEPLOYMENT


LEGALLY BUYING ALCOHOL :)


THE LITTLE BOY WHO HAS NO IDEA HOW SPECIAL HE IS <3


WE USED TO SHARE FRUIT SNACKS, NOW WE SHARE COCKTAILS


THE BEST FRIENDS A GIRL COULD AS FOR


FAM[ILY]


NOTHING COMES BETWEEN US.


MY COUSIN KELSEY AND I TAKING A LITTLE BEER SHOT IN HONOR OF MY AUNT GINA, HER MOM.

A Decade.

This is a poem to Gina, my Aunt.
Whom I believe is strong and optimistic.
You are one strong woman with a big smile.
You tell me the right thing and you are encouraging.
You treat me and others wit love and are always happy.
To me I think you are helpful.
Your hazel eyes make me comfortable
You love to be with family.
You listen to me; you give me strength.
Whenever I see Precious Moments statues I think of you
This is a poem to Gina, my Aunt
Whom I believe is strong and optimistic.
I wrote this poem 10 years ago in 6th grade as an assignment. I read it to my Aunt Gina, in person, the night before she passed away. It ended up on the back of the program for her funeral as well. I don't know where the original copy is, but I do have a copy of the program,

I remember her room being on the left side of the hallway from where we came in. The room was filled with people who loved her and that she loved back. After I read it to her, we hung it on the wall by her bed and hugged her. As the image of my aunt replays in my head, she looks so frail. Thats not the woman I knew growing up. She was one of the strongest people I knew. Her smile lit up her face. So many memories have ran through my head today. So many I hold near and dear to my heart.

So here we are, 10 years later. My cousin Kelsey is coming up from Texas for Christmas this year. Kelsey has that exact strength that her mom had. I admire her for what she has been through and how she has kept herself together. She has such a big heart just like her mom and her smile lights up her face. Megan is a spitting image of her mom. the curls and the freckles. Megan is one of the sweetest and most genuine young ladies I know. She has been a lover since she was born. And unfortunately I don't know Paige the same way I know the other two girls but I am sure many of her mom's qualities are shining through as she grows up.

I love and miss you Aunt Gina. Your picture hangs on my mirror, I see you every day. Your Precious Moments statue sits on my night stand and I look at that every day. There is not a single day that goes by that I don't think about you. I will never understand why God took you so soon from us. But if I can guess why, its because He wanted His best angels by His side and you are definitely among His best.