Monday, July 26, 2010

mixed emotions.

looks like another sleepless night. this is getting frustrating. I just want one good deep sleep. just one. is that so much to ask for!?

Today was the first day (well, yesterday) was the first day I went without talking to brian. its definitely a weird feeling and I won't lie, I don't like it one bit. But thats how it is. I knew what I was getting into when we agreed to be in a relationship... but I never imagined it would affect me this way. If anything, its definitely proving to me how much I really do care about him and how much of a best friend he's becoming. I tell him everything... everything good that happens and everything bad. When my nephew says something funny or someone at work says something bitchy. He knows about it.

I have never been a girl to have really close girl friends. I've always hung out with guys and had just a small handful of close girls to go to. but lately, I've never felt closer to my girlfriends. I have that set of girls I know I can go out with and have a great time. Gossip with. Cry with. Laugh with. Its a great feeling. I am really going to stay committed to these friendships. But whats amazing about the friendships I have with these girls is that I don't have to talk to them every day all day to know they're there for me. another great feeling.

So this blog has mixed emotions. I'm tired a hell. Anxious to talk to Brian. Frustrated with not being able to just sleep. So in love with my boyfriend. and feeling great about the friends in my life right now.

now I am going to go toss and turn until the sun comes up.

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