Out in the Air: 2010 Tribute.

As I sit here in my bed and stare at the computer screen the thought "where do I even begin?" runs through my mind as I attempt to reflect back on the year 2010. So I guess I'll start with where I was a year ago...

A year ago today I was in a deteriorating relationship that I was holding on for no reason except for it was all I knew. I knew it was time for it to end and for me to move on to something new but I was too attached...for many reasons. We were technically broken up for the holidays but on New Years Eve 2009, we decided we'd try to work this out. Not but a month later we were over. He was too focused on his own personal goals while I was willing to give 100% and more to fixing the relationship. When one person gives and another cannot or is not willing to, the relationship is not a happy one. So at the end of January, a 2 year relationship with a guy I was set on marrying ended.

Now yes. I knew it was the BEST thing. I knew it was the RIGHT thing...but the tears still fell. ohhhh did they fall. But I had the BEST friends in the world to dry them off and pick me up. My friend Ryan was unbelievable at the time. No matter what the hour, morning, day or night, he'd answer my call and listen to my as I would sob. A break up is a form of loss. It is okay to grieve but there comes a time when you have to pick yourself back up and live your life for YOU. Through the wonderful help, hugs and positive energy of my wonderful friends (you all know exactly who you are), I picked myself up rather quickly and moved on with my life. I have never been happier.

As my personal love life felt as if it had been flipped turned upside down the real world didn't stop. I still had classes to attend and tables to serve. That winter quarter I pulled off straight A's. The best quarter of college I have had to date. I was seeing I had removed a lot of negative energy from my life. I told myself "2010 is about ME. I am going to focus on finishing school strong, making money and having fun with friends and family. i am not going to throw myself into another relationship. It is time for me." ..Well, we all know that was slightly unsuccessful. haha. I even went and got a tattoo that I had been wanting!

My 21st birthday quickly approached and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect birthday celebration. All of my friends made it out that night and well, to put it bluntly, I was carried out of the bar. Success.

As I was strengthening all my friendships and making new ones, a new man entered my life a big unexpectedly. Needless to say, it was the best thing to ever happen. Brian is amazing. He somehow says all the right things, knows how to get me to smile and really loves me for me. I visited him out in California after we hit it off at my birthday and well the connection was really undeniable. So we figured we would give it a shot. Our relationship is a long distance relationship. But we are making it work wonderfully thanks to Skype and Facebook. Thank you Mark Zuckerberg and the inventor of Skype!

My nephew turned THREE this year. I have no idea where three years went but that little baby is not a little baby anymore! He is becoming a little man and is just the cutest ever. He knows so much and it amazes me to see the things he does and hear the things he says. He is going to be a big brother in June :)

2010 was a tough year. My sister had a miscarriage, Brian lost a friend overseas, and now I see my younger sister going through the same heartbreak I did a year ago. I hope 2011 brings her the same joy that I have found. I tried coming off my antidepressant this year just to find out I really do need them. Which is okay. I am at peace with that. I still see a counselor fairly regularly and she is really helping me through a lot. I have a lot of personal insecurities I am dealing with. So thank you 2010 for making me a stronger person, for helping me realize my true friends and for bringing an amazing man into my life. But to be honest 2010, I can't wait for you to be over!

Now, I know I couldn't include EVERYTHING that happened this year in this post, so leave a memory we had together during 2010 either as a comment on facebook or as a comment on here :)