When?

Well, it seems as though things are just always too good to be true. Things had seemed to be looking up for me, the crash and fall. I guess I had just been too lucky to have so much going so well for me for so long, that now, I deserve it. I am just not sure how much more disappointment I can take.

I would think that things would get easier as more time progressed, but I still feel the pain just as I did a month ago. For him, he's numb. I wish I could be numb. Stop feeling. There's a line in Lady Antebellum's song "Need You Now" that says "Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin at all" and I see what she means when she sings it.At least she cared enough about the man that she feels pain after he left. That's how I know he was something important to me, because of the pain I am feeling. I know I 100% loved him and still do. But there are definitely times where I could just feel nothing rather than this pain.

When will things start looking up? I lose one thing, then its like nothing else fits into place or works out...